Making a Difference One Starfish at a Time: Why Small Moments Create Real Change

5/31/2022

The other day, after a particularly frustrating interaction with several people trying to free themselves from addiction, someone shared a story with me that I’ve heard many times before — but today, I needed the reminder.

It’s called The Starfish Story, and it goes a little like this:

A boy and his little sister were walking along a beach when they came across hundreds of starfish stranded in the sand after the tide had gone out. They were drying out in the hot sun, and slowly dying.

The little girl immediately began picking up the starfish and throwing them back into the ocean.

Her brother watched for a moment and finally said, “Why are you doing that? There are too many. What you’re doing is not going to make a difference.”

Without stopping, the little girl picked up another starfish, tossed it into the water, and said, “It made a difference for that one.”

Then she picked up another. And another and continued to throw starfish back into the ocean one at a time.

The person who reminded me of this story gently pointed out that, even on days when it feels like nothing is shifting, I am still making a difference. And that matters.

What struck me most is how that simple reminder — one small, thoughtful gesture — ended up making a big difference for me. Funny how that works.

And in that moment, I remembered something easy to forget when the work feels heavy.

The point was never to save everyone.
It was never to fix what’s broken in the world.

The work has always been about presence.
About noticing who is standing in front of you.
About choosing to reach down, again and again, even when the shoreline feels endless.

One conversation.
One moment of clarity.
One shift in awareness.

That is how change actually happens.

This is the heart of my work. Not grand gestures or sweeping promises, but steady, intentional moments that restore balance where it’s been lost.

Because for the one who gets help getting back into the water at just the right moment…

It makes all the difference in the world.